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   King Henry IV, Part II
ACT V SCENE I Gloucestershire. SHALLOW'S house. 
SHALLOW By cock and pie, sir, you shall not away to-night. 
 What, Davy, I say! 
FALSTAFF You must excuse me, Master Robert Shallow. 
SHALLOW I will not excuse you; you shall not be excused; 5
 excuses shall not be admitted; there is no excuse 
 shall serve; you shall not be excused. Why, Davy! 
 Enter DAVY 
DAVY Here, sir. 
SHALLOW Davy, Davy, Davy, Davy, let me see, Davy; let me 
 see, Davy; let me see: yea, marry, William cook, 10
 bid him come hither. Sir John, you shall not be excused. 
DAVY Marry, sir, thus; those precepts cannot be served: 
 and, again, sir, shall we sow the headland with wheat? 
SHALLOW With red wheat, Davy. But for William cook: are 
 there no young pigeons? 15
DAVY Yes, sir. Here is now the smith's note for shoeing 
 and plough-irons. 
SHALLOW Let it be cast and paid. Sir John, you shall not be excused. 
DAVY Now, sir, a new link to the bucket must need be 
 had: and, sir, do you mean to stop any of William's 20
 wages, about the sack he lost the other day at 
 Hinckley fair? 
SHALLOW A' shall answer it. Some pigeons, Davy, a couple 
 of short-legged hens, a joint of mutton, and any 
 pretty little tiny kickshaws, tell William cook. 25
DAVY Doth the man of war stay all night, sir? 
SHALLOW Yea, Davy. I will use him well: a friend i' the 
 court is better than a penny in purse. Use his men 
 well, Davy; for they are arrant knaves, and will backbite. 
DAVY No worse than they are backbitten, sir; for they 30
 have marvellous foul linen. 
SHALLOW Well conceited, Davy: about thy business, Davy. 
DAVY I beseech you, sir, to countenance William Visor of 
 Woncot against Clement Perkes of the hill. 
SHALLOW There is many complaints, Davy, against that Visor: 35
 that Visor is an arrant knave, on my knowledge. 
DAVY I grant your worship that he is a knave, sir; but 
 yet, God forbid, sir, but a knave should have some 
 countenance at his friend's request. An honest 
 man, sir, is able to speak for himself, when a knave 40
 is not. I have served your worship truly, sir, 
 this eight years; and if I cannot once or twice in 
 a quarter bear out a knave against an honest man, I 
 have but a very little credit with your worship. The 
 knave is mine honest friend, sir; therefore, I 45
 beseech your worship, let him be countenanced. 
SHALLOW Go to; I say he shall have no wrong. Look about, Davy. 
 Exit DAVY 
 Where are you, Sir John? Come, come, come, off 
 with your boots. Give me your hand, Master Bardolph. 
BARDOLPH I am glad to see your worship. 50
SHALLOW I thank thee with all my heart, kind 
 Master Bardolph: and welcome, my tall fellow. 
 To the Page 
 Come, Sir John. 
FALSTAFF I'll follow you, good Master Robert Shallow. 
 Bardolph, look to our horses. 55
 Exeunt BARDOLPH and Page 
 If I were sawed into quantities, I should make four 
 dozen of such bearded hermits' staves as Master 
 Shallow. It is a wonderful thing to see the 
 semblable coherence of his men's spirits and his: 
 they, by observing of him, do bear themselves like 60
 foolish justices; he, by conversing with them, is 
 turned into a justice-like serving-man: their 
 spirits are so married in conjunction with the 
 participation of society that they flock together in 
 consent, like so many wild-geese. If I had a suit 65
 to Master Shallow, I would humour his men with the 
 imputation of being near their master: if to his 
 men, I would curry with Master Shallow that no man 
 could better command his servants. It is certain 
 that either wise bearing or ignorant carriage is 70
 caught, as men take diseases, one of another: 
 therefore let men take heed of their company. I 
 will devise matter enough out of this Shallow to 
 keep Prince Harry in continual laughter the wearing 
 out of six fashions, which is four terms, or two 75
 actions, and a' shall laugh without intervallums. O, 
 it is much that a lie with a slight oath and a jest 
 with a sad brow will do with a fellow that never 
 had the ache in his shoulders! O, you shall see him 
 laugh till his face be like a wet cloak ill laid up! 80
FALSTAFF I come, Master Shallow; I come, Master Shallow. 

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