| ACT II SCENE III | Paris. The KING's palace. | |
| [Enter BERTRAM, LAFEU, and PAROLLES] |
| LAFEU | They say miracles are past; and we have our |
| philosophical persons, to make modern and familiar, |
| things supernatural and causeless. Hence is it that |
| we make trifles of terrors, ensconcing ourselves |
| into seeming knowledge, when we should submit | 5 |
| ourselves to an unknown fear. |
| PAROLLES | Why, 'tis the rarest argument of wonder that hath |
| shot out in our latter times. |
| BERTRAM | And so 'tis. |
| LAFEU | To be relinquish'd of the artists,-- | 10 |
| PAROLLES | So I say. |
| LAFEU | Both of Galen and Paracelsus. |
| PAROLLES | So I say. |
| LAFEU | Of all the learned and authentic fellows,-- |
| PAROLLES | Right; so I say. | 15 |
| LAFEU | That gave him out incurable,-- |
| PAROLLES | Why, there 'tis; so say I too. |
| LAFEU | Not to be helped,-- |
| PAROLLES | Right; as 'twere, a man assured of a-- |
| LAFEU | Uncertain life, and sure death. | 20 |
| PAROLLES | Just, you say well; so would I have said. |
| LAFEU | I may truly say, it is a novelty to the world. |
| PAROLLES | It is, indeed: if you will have it in showing, you |
| shall read it in--what do you call there? |
| LAFEU | A showing of a heavenly effect in an earthly actor. | 25 |
| PAROLLES | That's it; I would have said the very same. |
| LAFEU | Why, your dolphin is not lustier: 'fore me, |
| I speak in respect-- |
| PAROLLES | Nay, 'tis strange, 'tis very strange, that is the |
| brief and the tedious of it; and he's of a most | 30 |
| facinerious spirit that will not acknowledge it to be the-- |
| LAFEU | Very hand of heaven. |
| PAROLLES | Ay, so I say. |
| LAFEU | In a most weak-- |
[pausing] |
| and debile minister, great power, great | 35 |
| transcendence: which should, indeed, give us a |
| further use to be made than alone the recovery of |
| the king, as to be-- |
[pausing] |
| generally thankful. |
| PAROLLES | I would have said it; you say well. Here comes the king. | 40 |
| [
Enter KING, HELENA, and Attendants. LAFEU and
PAROLLES retire
] |
| LAFEU | Lustig, as the Dutchman says: I'll like a maid the |
| better, whilst I have a tooth in my head: why, he's |
| able to lead her a coranto. |
| PAROLLES | Mort du vinaigre! is not this Helen? |
| LAFEU | 'Fore God, I think so. | 45 |
| KING | Go, call before me all the lords in court. |
| Sit, my preserver, by thy patient's side; |
| And with this healthful hand, whose banish'd sense |
| Thou hast repeal'd, a second time receive |
| The confirmation of my promised gift, | 50 |
| Which but attends thy naming. |
[Enter three or four Lords] |
| Fair maid, send forth thine eye: this youthful parcel |
| Of noble bachelors stand at my bestowing, |
| O'er whom both sovereign power and father's voice |
| I have to use: thy frank election make; | 55 |
| Thou hast power to choose, and they none to forsake. |
| HELENA | To each of you one fair and virtuous mistress |
| Fall, when Love please! marry, to each, but one! |
| LAFEU | I'ld give bay Curtal and his furniture, |
| My mouth no more were broken than these boys', | 60 |
| And writ as little beard. |
| KING | Peruse them well: |
| Not one of those but had a noble father. |
| HELENA | Gentlemen, |
| Heaven hath through me restored the king to health. | 65 |
| All | We understand it, and thank heaven for you. |
| HELENA | I am a simple maid, and therein wealthiest, |
| That I protest I simply am a maid. |
| Please it your majesty, I have done already: |
| The blushes in my cheeks thus whisper me, | 70 |
| 'We blush that thou shouldst choose; but, be refused, |
| Let the white death sit on thy cheek for ever; |
| We'll ne'er come there again.' |
| KING | Make choice; and, see, |
| Who shuns thy love shuns all his love in me. | 75 |
| HELENA | Now, Dian, from thy altar do I fly, |
| And to imperial Love, that god most high, |
| Do my sighs stream. Sir, will you hear my suit? |
| First Lord | And grant it. |
| HELENA | Thanks, sir; all the rest is mute. | 80 |
| LAFEU | I had rather be in this choice than throw ames-ace |
| for my life. |
| HELENA | The honour, sir, that flames in your fair eyes, |
| Before I speak, too threateningly replies: |
| Love make your fortunes twenty times above | 85 |
| Her that so wishes and her humble love! |
| Second Lord | No better, if you please. |
| HELENA | My wish receive, |
| Which great Love grant! and so, I take my leave. |
| LAFEU | Do all they deny her? An they were sons of mine, | 90 |
| I'd have them whipped; or I would send them to the |
| Turk, to make eunuchs of. |
| HELENA | Be not afraid that I your hand should take; |
| I'll never do you wrong for your own sake: |
| Blessing upon your vows! and in your bed | 95 |
| Find fairer fortune, if you ever wed! |
| LAFEU | These boys are boys of ice, they'll none have her: |
| sure, they are bastards to the English; the French |
| ne'er got 'em. |
| HELENA | You are too young, too happy, and too good, | 100 |
| To make yourself a son out of my blood. |
| Fourth Lord | Fair one, I think not so. |
| LAFEU | There's one grape yet; I am sure thy father drunk |
| wine: but if thou be'st not an ass, I am a youth |
| of fourteen; I have known thee already. | 105 |
| HELENA | [To BERTRAM] I dare not say I take you; but I give
|
| Me and my service, ever whilst I live, |
| Into your guiding power. This is the man. |
| KING | Why, then, young Bertram, take her; she's thy wife. |
| BERTRAM | My wife, my liege! I shall beseech your highness, | 110 |
| In such a business give me leave to use |
| The help of mine own eyes. |
| KING | Know'st thou not, Bertram, |
| What she has done for me? |
| BERTRAM | Yes, my good lord; | 115 |
| But never hope to know why I should marry her. |
| KING | Thou know'st she has raised me from my sickly bed. |
| BERTRAM | But follows it, my lord, to bring me down |
| Must answer for your raising? I know her well: |
| She had her breeding at my father's charge. | 120 |
| A poor physician's daughter my wife! Disdain |
| Rather corrupt me ever! |
| KING | 'Tis only title thou disdain'st in her, the which |
| I can build up. Strange is it that our bloods, |
| Of colour, weight, and heat, pour'd all together, | 125 |
| Would quite confound distinction, yet stand off |
| In differences so mighty. If she be |
| All that is virtuous, save what thou dislikest, |
| A poor physician's daughter, thou dislikest |
| Of virtue for the name: but do not so: | 130 |
| From lowest place when virtuous things proceed, |
| The place is dignified by the doer's deed: |
| Where great additions swell's, and virtue none, |
| It is a dropsied honour. Good alone |
| Is good without a name. Vileness is so: | 135 |
| The property by what it is should go, |
| Not by the title. She is young, wise, fair; |
| In these to nature she's immediate heir, |
| And these breed honour: that is honour's scorn, |
| Which challenges itself as honour's born | 140 |
| And is not like the sire: honours thrive, |
| When rather from our acts we them derive |
| Than our foregoers: the mere word's a slave |
| Debosh'd on every tomb, on every grave |
| A lying trophy, and as oft is dumb | 145 |
| Where dust and damn'd oblivion is the tomb |
| Of honour'd bones indeed. What should be said? |
| If thou canst like this creature as a maid, |
| I can create the rest: virtue and she |
| Is her own dower; honour and wealth from me. | 150 |
| BERTRAM | I cannot love her, nor will strive to do't. |
| KING | Thou wrong'st thyself, if thou shouldst strive to choose. |
| HELENA | That you are well restored, my lord, I'm glad: |
| Let the rest go. |
| KING | My honour's at the stake; which to defeat, | 155 |
| I must produce my power. Here, take her hand, |
| Proud scornful boy, unworthy this good gift; |
| That dost in vile misprision shackle up |
| My love and her desert; that canst not dream, |
| We, poising us in her defective scale, | 160 |
| Shall weigh thee to the beam; that wilt not know, |
| It is in us to plant thine honour where |
| We please to have it grow. Cheque thy contempt: |
| Obey our will, which travails in thy good: |
| Believe not thy disdain, but presently | 165 |
| Do thine own fortunes that obedient right |
| Which both thy duty owes and our power claims; |
| Or I will throw thee from my care for ever |
| Into the staggers and the careless lapse |
| Of youth and ignorance; both my revenge and hate | 170 |
| Loosing upon thee, in the name of justice, |
| Without all terms of pity. Speak; thine answer. |
| BERTRAM | Pardon, my gracious lord; for I submit |
| My fancy to your eyes: when I consider |
| What great creation and what dole of honour | 175 |
| Flies where you bid it, I find that she, which late |
| Was in my nobler thoughts most base, is now |
| The praised of the king; who, so ennobled, |
| Is as 'twere born so. |
| KING | Take her by the hand, | 180 |
| And tell her she is thine: to whom I promise |
| A counterpoise, if not to thy estate |
| A balance more replete. |
| BERTRAM | I take her hand. |
| KING | Good fortune and the favour of the king | 185 |
| Smile upon this contract; whose ceremony |
| Shall seem expedient on the now-born brief, |
| And be perform'd to-night: the solemn feast |
| Shall more attend upon the coming space, |
| Expecting absent friends. As thou lovest her, | 190 |
| Thy love's to me religious; else, does err. |
| [Exeunt all but LAFEU and PAROLLES] |
| LAFEU | [Advancing] Do you hear, monsieur? a word with you.
|
| PAROLLES | Your pleasure, sir? |
| LAFEU | Your lord and master did well to make his |
| recantation. | 195 |
| PAROLLES | Recantation! My lord! my master! |
| LAFEU | Ay; is it not a language I speak? |
| PAROLLES | A most harsh one, and not to be understood without |
| bloody succeeding. My master! |
| LAFEU | Are you companion to the Count Rousillon? | 200 |
| PAROLLES | To any count, to all counts, to what is man. |
| LAFEU | To what is count's man: count's master is of |
| another style. |
| PAROLLES | You are too old, sir; let it satisfy you, you are too old. |
| LAFEU | I must tell thee, sirrah, I write man; to which | 205 |
| title age cannot bring thee. |
| PAROLLES | What I dare too well do, I dare not do. |
| LAFEU | I did think thee, for two ordinaries, to be a pretty |
| wise fellow; thou didst make tolerable vent of thy |
| travel; it might pass: yet the scarfs and the | 210 |
| bannerets about thee did manifoldly dissuade me from |
| believing thee a vessel of too great a burthen. I |
| have now found thee; when I lose thee again, I care |
| not: yet art thou good for nothing but taking up; and |
| that thou't scarce worth. | 215 |
| PAROLLES | Hadst thou not the privilege of antiquity upon thee,-- |
| LAFEU | Do not plunge thyself too far in anger, lest thou |
| hasten thy trial; which if--Lord have mercy on thee |
| for a hen! So, my good window of lattice, fare thee |
| well: thy casement I need not open, for I look | 220 |
| through thee. Give me thy hand. |
| PAROLLES | My lord, you give me most egregious indignity. |
| LAFEU | Ay, with all my heart; and thou art worthy of it. |
| PAROLLES | I have not, my lord, deserved it. |
| LAFEU | Yes, good faith, every dram of it; and I will not | 225 |
| bate thee a scruple. |
| PAROLLES | Well, I shall be wiser. |
| LAFEU | Even as soon as thou canst, for thou hast to pull at |
| a smack o' the contrary. If ever thou be'st bound |
| in thy scarf and beaten, thou shalt find what it is | 230 |
| to be proud of thy bondage. I have a desire to hold |
| my acquaintance with thee, or rather my knowledge, |
| that I may say in the default, he is a man I know. |
| PAROLLES | My lord, you do me most insupportable vexation. |
| LAFEU | I would it were hell-pains for thy sake, and my poor | 235 |
| doing eternal: for doing I am past: as I will by |
| thee, in what motion age will give me leave. |
| [Exit] |
| PAROLLES | Well, thou hast a son shall take this disgrace off |
| me; scurvy, old, filthy, scurvy lord! Well, I must |
| be patient; there is no fettering of authority. | 240 |
| I'll beat him, by my life, if I can meet him with |
| any convenience, an he were double and double a |
| lord. I'll have no more pity of his age than I |
| would of--I'll beat him, an if I could but meet him again. |
| [Re-enter LAFEU] |
| LAFEU | Sirrah, your lord and master's married; there's news | 245 |
| for you: you have a new mistress. |
| PAROLLES | I most unfeignedly beseech your lordship to make |
| some reservation of your wrongs: he is my good |
| lord: whom I serve above is my master. |
| LAFEU | Who? God? | 250 |
| PAROLLES | Ay, sir. |
| LAFEU | The devil it is that's thy master. Why dost thou |
| garter up thy arms o' this fashion? dost make hose of |
| sleeves? do other servants so? Thou wert best set |
| thy lower part where thy nose stands. By mine | 255 |
| honour, if I were but two hours younger, I'ld beat |
| thee: methinks, thou art a general offence, and |
| every man should beat thee: I think thou wast |
| created for men to breathe themselves upon thee. |
| PAROLLES | This is hard and undeserved measure, my lord. | 260 |
| LAFEU | Go to, sir; you were beaten in Italy for picking a |
| kernel out of a pomegranate; you are a vagabond and |
| no true traveller: you are more saucy with lords |
| and honourable personages than the commission of your |
| birth and virtue gives you heraldry. You are not | 265 |
| worth another word, else I'ld call you knave. I leave you. |
| [Exit] |
| PAROLLES | Good, very good; it is so then: good, very good; |
| let it be concealed awhile. |
| [Re-enter BERTRAM] |
| BERTRAM | Undone, and forfeited to cares for ever! |
| PAROLLES | What's the matter, sweet-heart? | 270 |
| BERTRAM | Although before the solemn priest I have sworn, |
| I will not bed her. |
| PAROLLES | What, what, sweet-heart? |
| BERTRAM | O my Parolles, they have married me! |
| I'll to the Tuscan wars, and never bed her. | 275 |
| PAROLLES | France is a dog-hole, and it no more merits |
| The tread of a man's foot: to the wars! |
| BERTRAM | There's letters from my mother: what the import is, |
| I know not yet. |
| PAROLLES | Ay, that would be known. To the wars, my boy, to the wars! | 280 |
| He wears his honour in a box unseen, |
| That hugs his kicky-wicky here at home, |
| Spending his manly marrow in her arms, |
| Which should sustain the bound and high curvet |
| Of Mars's fiery steed. To other regions | 285 |
| France is a stable; we that dwell in't jades; |
| Therefore, to the war! |
| BERTRAM | It shall be so: I'll send her to my house, |
| Acquaint my mother with my hate to her, |
| And wherefore I am fled; write to the king | 290 |
| That which I durst not speak; his present gift |
| Shall furnish me to those Italian fields, |
| Where noble fellows strike: war is no strife |
| To the dark house and the detested wife. |
| PAROLLES | Will this capriccio hold in thee? art sure? | 295 |
| BERTRAM | Go with me to my chamber, and advise me. |
| I'll send her straight away: to-morrow |
| I'll to the wars, she to her single sorrow. |
| PAROLLES | Why, these balls bound; there's noise in it. 'Tis hard: |
| A young man married is a man that's marr'd: | 300 |
| Therefore away, and leave her bravely; go: |
| The king has done you wrong: but, hush, 'tis so. |
| [Exeunt] |