| ACT II SCENE I | The house of ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus. | |
| [Enter ADRIANA and LUCIANA] |
| ADRIANA | Neither my husband nor the slave return'd, |
| That in such haste I sent to seek his master! |
| Sure, Luciana, it is two o'clock. |
| LUCIANA | Perhaps some merchant hath invited him, |
| And from the mart he's somewhere gone to dinner. | 5 |
| Good sister, let us dine and never fret: |
| A man is master of his liberty: |
| Time is their master, and, when they see time, |
| They'll go or come: if so, be patient, sister. |
| ADRIANA | Why should their liberty than ours be more? | 10 |
| LUCIANA | Because their business still lies out o' door. |
| ADRIANA | Look, when I serve him so, he takes it ill. |
| LUCIANA | O, know he is the bridle of your will. |
| ADRIANA | There's none but asses will be bridled so. |
| LUCIANA | Why, headstrong liberty is lash'd with woe. | 15 |
| There's nothing situate under heaven's eye |
| But hath his bound, in earth, in sea, in sky: |
| The beasts, the fishes, and the winged fowls, |
| Are their males' subjects and at their controls: |
| Men, more divine, the masters of all these, | 20 |
| Lords of the wide world and wild watery seas, |
| Indued with intellectual sense and souls, |
| Of more preeminence than fish and fowls, |
| Are masters to their females, and their lords: |
| Then let your will attend on their accords. | 25 |
| ADRIANA | This servitude makes you to keep unwed. |
| LUCIANA | Not this, but troubles of the marriage-bed. |
| ADRIANA | But, were you wedded, you would bear some sway. |
| LUCIANA | Ere I learn love, I'll practise to obey. |
| ADRIANA | How if your husband start some other where? | 30 |
| LUCIANA | Till he come home again, I would forbear. |
| ADRIANA | Patience unmoved! no marvel though she pause; |
| They can be meek that have no other cause. |
| A wretched soul, bruised with adversity, |
| We bid be quiet when we hear it cry; | 35 |
| But were we burdened with like weight of pain, |
| As much or more would we ourselves complain: |
| So thou, that hast no unkind mate to grieve thee, |
| With urging helpless patience wouldst relieve me, |
| But, if thou live to see like right bereft, | 40 |
| This fool-begg'd patience in thee will be left. |
| LUCIANA | Well, I will marry one day, but to try. |
| Here comes your man; now is your husband nigh. |
| [Enter DROMIO of Ephesus] |
| ADRIANA | Say, is your tardy master now at hand? |
| DROMIO OF EPHESUS | Nay, he's at two hands with me, and that my two ears | 45 |
| can witness. |
| ADRIANA | Say, didst thou speak with him? know'st thou his mind? |
| DROMIO OF EPHESUS | Ay, ay, he told his mind upon mine ear: |
| Beshrew his hand, I scarce could understand it. |
| LUCIANA | Spake he so doubtfully, thou couldst not feel his meaning? | 50 |
| DROMIO OF EPHESUS | Nay, he struck so plainly, I could too well feel his |
| blows; and withal so doubtfully that I could scarce |
| understand them. |
| ADRIANA | But say, I prithee, is he coming home? It seems he |
| hath great care to please his wife. | 55 |
| DROMIO OF EPHESUS | Why, mistress, sure my master is horn-mad. |
| ADRIANA | Horn-mad, thou villain! |
| DROMIO OF EPHESUS | I mean not cuckold-mad; |
| But, sure, he is stark mad. |
| When I desired him to come home to dinner, | 60 |
| He ask'd me for a thousand marks in gold: |
| ''Tis dinner-time,' quoth I; 'My gold!' quoth he; |
| 'Your meat doth burn,' quoth I; 'My gold!' quoth he: |
| 'Will you come home?' quoth I; 'My gold!' quoth he. |
| 'Where is the thousand marks I gave thee, villain?' | 65 |
| 'The pig,' quoth I, 'is burn'd;' 'My gold!' quoth he: |
| 'My mistress, sir' quoth I; 'Hang up thy mistress! |
| I know not thy mistress; out on thy mistress!' |
| LUCIANA | Quoth who? |
| DROMIO OF EPHESUS | Quoth my master: | 70 |
| 'I know,' quoth he, 'no house, no wife, no mistress.' |
| So that my errand, due unto my tongue, |
| I thank him, I bare home upon my shoulders; |
| For, in conclusion, he did beat me there. |
| ADRIANA | Go back again, thou slave, and fetch him home. | 75 |
| DROMIO OF EPHESUS | Go back again, and be new beaten home? |
| For God's sake, send some other messenger. |
| ADRIANA | Back, slave, or I will break thy pate across. |
| DROMIO OF EPHESUS | And he will bless that cross with other beating: |
| Between you I shall have a holy head. | 80 |
| ADRIANA | Hence, prating peasant! fetch thy master home. |
| DROMIO OF EPHESUS | Am I so round with you as you with me, |
| That like a football you do spurn me thus? |
| You spurn me hence, and he will spurn me hither: |
| If I last in this service, you must case me in leather. | 85 |
| [Exit] |
| LUCIANA | Fie, how impatience loureth in your face! |
| ADRIANA | His company must do his minions grace, |
| Whilst I at home starve for a merry look. |
| Hath homely age the alluring beauty took |
| From my poor cheek? then he hath wasted it: | 90 |
| Are my discourses dull? barren my wit? |
| If voluble and sharp discourse be marr'd, |
| Unkindness blunts it more than marble hard: |
| Do their gay vestments his affections bait? |
| That's not my fault: he's master of my state: | 95 |
| What ruins are in me that can be found, |
| By him not ruin'd? then is he the ground |
| Of my defeatures. My decayed fair |
| A sunny look of his would soon repair |
| But, too unruly deer, he breaks the pale | 100 |
| And feeds from home; poor I am but his stale. |
| LUCIANA | Self-harming jealousy! fie, beat it hence! |
| ADRIANA | Unfeeling fools can with such wrongs dispense. |
| I know his eye doth homage otherwhere, |
| Or else what lets it but he would be here? | 105 |
| Sister, you know he promised me a chain; |
| Would that alone, alone he would detain, |
| So he would keep fair quarter with his bed! |
| I see the jewel best enamelled |
| Will lose his beauty; yet the gold bides still, | 110 |
| That others touch, and often touching will |
| Wear gold: and no man that hath a name, |
| By falsehood and corruption doth it shame. |
| Since that my beauty cannot please his eye, |
| I'll weep what's left away, and weeping die. | 115 |
| LUCIANA | How many fond fools serve mad jealousy! |
| [Exeunt] |