|ACT I SCENE III
|An ante-chamber in the palace.
|[Enter Chamberlain and SANDS]
|Is't possible the spells of France should juggle
|Men into such strange mysteries?
|Though they be never so ridiculous,
|Nay, let 'em be unmanly, yet are follow'd.
|As far as I see, all the good our English
|Have got by the late voyage is but merely
|A fit or two o' the face; but they are shrewd ones;
|For when they hold 'em, you would swear directly
|Their very noses had been counsellors
|To Pepin or Clotharius, they keep state so.
|They have all new legs, and lame ones: one would take it,
|That never saw 'em pace before, the spavin
|Or springhalt reign'd among 'em.
|Death! my lord,
|Their clothes are after such a pagan cut too,
|That, sure, they've worn out Christendom.
|What news, Sir Thomas Lovell?
|Faith, my lord,
|I hear of none, but the new proclamation
|That's clapp'd upon the court-gate.
|What is't for?
|The reformation of our travell'd gallants,
|That fill the court with quarrels, talk, and tailors.
|I'm glad 'tis there: now I would pray our monsieurs
|To think an English courtier may be wise,
|And never see the Louvre.
|They must either,
|For so run the conditions, leave those remnants
|Of fool and feather that they got in France,
|With all their honourable point of ignorance
|Pertaining thereunto, as fights and fireworks,
|Abusing better men than they can be,
|Out of a foreign wisdom, renouncing clean
|The faith they have in tennis, and tall stockings,
|Short blister'd breeches, and those types of travel,
|And understand again like honest men;
|Or pack to their old playfellows: there, I take it,
|They may, 'cum privilegio,' wear away
|The lag end of their lewdness and be laugh'd at.
|'Tis time to give 'em physic, their diseases
|Are grown so catching.
|What a loss our ladies
|Will have of these trim vanities!
|There will be woe indeed, lords: the sly whoresons
|Have got a speeding trick to lay down ladies;
|A French song and a fiddle has no fellow.
|The devil fiddle 'em! I am glad they are going,
|For, sure, there's no converting of 'em: now
|An honest country lord, as I am, beaten
|A long time out of play, may bring his plainsong
|And have an hour of hearing; and, by'r lady,
|Held current music too.
|Well said, Lord Sands;
|Your colt's tooth is not cast yet.
|No, my lord;
|Nor shall not, while I have a stump.
|Whither were you a-going?
|To the cardinal's:
|Your lordship is a guest too.
|O, 'tis true:
|This night he makes a supper, and a great one,
|To many lords and ladies; there will be
|The beauty of this kingdom, I'll assure you.
|That churchman bears a bounteous mind indeed,
|A hand as fruitful as the land that feeds us;
|His dews fall every where.
|No doubt he's noble;
|He had a black mouth that said other of him.
|He may, my lord; has wherewithal: in him
|Sparing would show a worse sin than ill doctrine:
|Men of his way should be most liberal;
|They are set here for examples.
|True, they are so:
|But few now give so great ones. My barge stays;
|Your lordship shall along. Come, good Sir Thomas,
|We shall be late else; which I would not be,
|For I was spoke to, with Sir Henry Guildford
|This night to be comptrollers.
|I am your lordship's.