| ACT I SCENE II | The same. A street. | |
| [Enter CRESSIDA and ALEXANDER] |
| CRESSIDA | Who were those went by? |
| ALEXANDER | Queen Hecuba and Helen. |
| CRESSIDA | And whither go they? |
| ALEXANDER | Up to the eastern tower, |
| Whose height commands as subject all the vale, | 5 |
| To see the battle. Hector, whose patience |
| Is, as a virtue, fix'd, to-day was moved: |
| He chid Andromache and struck his armourer, |
| And, like as there were husbandry in war, |
| Before the sun rose he was harness'd light, | 10 |
| And to the field goes he; where every flower |
| Did, as a prophet, weep what it foresaw |
| In Hector's wrath. |
| CRESSIDA | What was his cause of anger? |
| ALEXANDER | The noise goes, this: there is among the Greeks | 15 |
| A lord of Trojan blood, nephew to Hector; |
| They call him Ajax. |
| CRESSIDA | Good; and what of him? |
| ALEXANDER | They say he is a very man per se, |
| And stands alone. | 20 |
| CRESSIDA | So do all men, unless they are drunk, sick, or have no legs. |
| ALEXANDER | This man, lady, hath robbed many beasts of their |
| particular additions; he is as valiant as the lion, |
| churlish as the bear, slow as the elephant: a man |
| into whom nature hath so crowded humours that his | 25 |
| valour is crushed into folly, his folly sauced with |
| discretion: there is no man hath a virtue that he |
| hath not a glimpse of, nor any man an attaint but he |
| carries some stain of it: he is melancholy without |
| cause, and merry against the hair: he hath the | 30 |
| joints of every thing, but everything so out of joint |
| that he is a gouty Briareus, many hands and no use, |
| or purblind Argus, all eyes and no sight. |
| CRESSIDA | But how should this man, that makes |
| me smile, make Hector angry? | 35 |
| ALEXANDER | They say he yesterday coped Hector in the battle and |
| struck him down, the disdain and shame whereof hath |
| ever since kept Hector fasting and waking. |
| CRESSIDA | Who comes here? |
| ALEXANDER | Madam, your uncle Pandarus. | 40 |
| [Enter PANDARUS] |
| CRESSIDA | Hector's a gallant man. |
| ALEXANDER | As may be in the world, lady. |
| PANDARUS | What's that? what's that? |
| CRESSIDA | Good morrow, uncle Pandarus. |
| PANDARUS | Good morrow, cousin Cressid: what do you talk of? | 45 |
| Good morrow, Alexander. How do you, cousin? When |
| were you at Ilium? |
| CRESSIDA | This morning, uncle. |
| PANDARUS | What were you talking of when I came? Was Hector |
| armed and gone ere ye came to Ilium? Helen was not | 50 |
| up, was she? |
| CRESSIDA | Hector was gone, but Helen was not up. |
| PANDARUS | Even so: Hector was stirring early. |
| CRESSIDA | That were we talking of, and of his anger. |
| PANDARUS | Was he angry? | 55 |
| CRESSIDA | So he says here. |
| PANDARUS | True, he was so: I know the cause too: he'll lay |
| about him to-day, I can tell them that: and there's |
| Troilus will not come far behind him: let them take |
| heed of Troilus, I can tell them that too. | 60 |
| CRESSIDA | What, is he angry too? |
| PANDARUS | Who, Troilus? Troilus is the better man of the two. |
| CRESSIDA | O Jupiter! there's no comparison. |
| PANDARUS | What, not between Troilus and Hector? Do you know a |
| man if you see him? | 65 |
| CRESSIDA | Ay, if I ever saw him before and knew him. |
| PANDARUS | Well, I say Troilus is Troilus. |
| CRESSIDA | Then you say as I say; for, I am sure, he is not Hector. |
| PANDARUS | No, nor Hector is not Troilus in some degrees. |
| CRESSIDA | 'Tis just to each of them; he is himself. | 70 |
| PANDARUS | Himself! Alas, poor Troilus! I would he were. |
| CRESSIDA | So he is. |
| PANDARUS | Condition, I had gone barefoot to India. |
| CRESSIDA | He is not Hector. |
| PANDARUS | Himself! no, he's not himself: would a' were | 75 |
| himself! Well, the gods are above; time must friend |
| or end: well, Troilus, well: I would my heart were |
| in her body. No, Hector is not a better man than Troilus. |
| CRESSIDA | Excuse me. |
| PANDARUS | He is elder. | 80 |
| CRESSIDA | Pardon me, pardon me. |
| PANDARUS | Th' other's not come to't; you shall tell me another |
| tale, when th' other's come to't. Hector shall not |
| have his wit this year. |
| CRESSIDA | He shall not need it, if he have his own. | 85 |
| PANDARUS | Nor his qualities. |
| CRESSIDA | No matter. |
| PANDARUS | Nor his beauty. |
| CRESSIDA | 'Twould not become him; his own's better. |
| PANDARUS | You have no judgment, niece: Helen | 90 |
| herself swore th' other day, that Troilus, for |
| a brown favour--for so 'tis, I must confess,-- |
| not brown neither,-- |
| CRESSIDA | No, but brown. |
| PANDARUS | 'Faith, to say truth, brown and not brown. | 95 |
| CRESSIDA | To say the truth, true and not true. |
| PANDARUS | She praised his complexion above Paris. |
| CRESSIDA | Why, Paris hath colour enough. |
| PANDARUS | So he has. |
| CRESSIDA | Then Troilus should have too much: if she praised | 100 |
| him above, his complexion is higher than his; he |
| having colour enough, and the other higher, is too |
| flaming a praise for a good complexion. I had as |
| lief Helen's golden tongue had commended Troilus for |
| a copper nose. | 105 |
| PANDARUS | I swear to you. I think Helen loves him better than Paris. |
| CRESSIDA | Then she's a merry Greek indeed. |
| PANDARUS | Nay, I am sure she does. She came to him th' other |
| day into the compassed window,--and, you know, he |
| has not past three or four hairs on his chin,-- | 110 |
| CRESSIDA | Indeed, a tapster's arithmetic may soon bring his |
| particulars therein to a total. |
| PANDARUS | Why, he is very young: and yet will he, within |
| three pound, lift as much as his brother Hector. |
| CRESSIDA | Is he so young a man and so old a lifter? | 115 |
| PANDARUS | But to prove to you that Helen loves him: she came |
| and puts me her white hand to his cloven chin-- |
| CRESSIDA | Juno have mercy! how came it cloven? |
| PANDARUS | Why, you know 'tis dimpled: I think his smiling |
| becomes him better than any man in all Phrygia. | 120 |
| CRESSIDA | O, he smiles valiantly. |
| PANDARUS | Does he not? |
| CRESSIDA | O yes, an 'twere a cloud in autumn. |
| PANDARUS | Why, go to, then: but to prove to you that Helen |
| loves Troilus,-- | 125 |
| CRESSIDA | Troilus will stand to the proof, if you'll |
| prove it so. |
| PANDARUS | Troilus! why, he esteems her no more than I esteem |
| an addle egg. |
| CRESSIDA | If you love an addle egg as well as you love an idle | 130 |
| head, you would eat chickens i' the shell. |
| PANDARUS | I cannot choose but laugh, to think how she tickled |
| his chin: indeed, she has a marvellous white hand, I |
| must needs confess,-- |
| CRESSIDA | Without the rack. | 135 |
| PANDARUS | And she takes upon her to spy a white hair on his chin. |
| CRESSIDA | Alas, poor chin! many a wart is richer. |
| PANDARUS | But there was such laughing! Queen Hecuba laughed |
| that her eyes ran o'er. |
| CRESSIDA | With mill-stones. | 140 |
| PANDARUS | And Cassandra laughed. |
| CRESSIDA | But there was more temperate fire under the pot of |
| her eyes: did her eyes run o'er too? |
| PANDARUS | And Hector laughed. |
| CRESSIDA | At what was all this laughing? | 145 |
| PANDARUS | Marry, at the white hair that Helen spied on Troilus' chin. |
| CRESSIDA | An't had been a green hair, I should have laughed |
| too. |
| PANDARUS | They laughed not so much at the hair as at his pretty answer. |
| CRESSIDA | What was his answer? | 150 |
| PANDARUS | Quoth she, 'Here's but two and fifty hairs on your |
| chin, and one of them is white. |
| CRESSIDA | This is her question. |
| PANDARUS | That's true; make no question of that. 'Two and |
| fifty hairs' quoth he, 'and one white: that white | 155 |
| hair is my father, and all the rest are his sons.' |
| 'Jupiter!' quoth she, 'which of these hairs is Paris, |
| my husband? 'The forked one,' quoth he, 'pluck't |
| out, and give it him.' But there was such laughing! |
| and Helen so blushed, an Paris so chafed, and all the | 160 |
| rest so laughed, that it passed. |
| CRESSIDA | So let it now; for it has been while going by. |
| PANDARUS | Well, cousin. I told you a thing yesterday; think on't. |
| CRESSIDA | So I do. |
| PANDARUS | I'll be sworn 'tis true; he will weep you, an 'twere | 165 |
| a man born in April. |
| CRESSIDA | And I'll spring up in his tears, an 'twere a nettle |
| against May. |
| [A retreat sounded] |
| PANDARUS | Hark! they are coming from the field: shall we |
| stand up here, and see them as they pass toward | 170 |
| Ilium? good niece, do, sweet niece Cressida. |
| CRESSIDA | At your pleasure. |
| PANDARUS | Here, here, here's an excellent place; here we may |
| see most bravely: I'll tell you them all by their |
| names as they pass by; but mark Troilus above the rest. | 175 |
| CRESSIDA | Speak not so loud. |
| [AENEAS passes] |
| PANDARUS | That's AEneas: is not that a brave man? he's one of |
| the flowers of Troy, I can tell you: but mark |
| Troilus; you shall see anon. |
| [ANTENOR passes] |
| CRESSIDA | Who's that? | 180 |
| PANDARUS | That's Antenor: he has a shrewd wit, I can tell you; |
| and he's a man good enough, he's one o' the soundest |
| judgments in whosoever, and a proper man of person. |
| When comes Troilus? I'll show you Troilus anon: if |
| he see me, you shall see him nod at me. | 185 |
| CRESSIDA | Will he give you the nod? |
| PANDARUS | You shall see. |
| CRESSIDA | If he do, the rich shall have more. |
| [HECTOR passes] |
| PANDARUS | That's Hector, that, that, look you, that; there's a |
| fellow! Go thy way, Hector! There's a brave man, | 190 |
| niece. O brave Hector! Look how he looks! there's |
| a countenance! is't not a brave man? |
| CRESSIDA | O, a brave man! |
| PANDARUS | Is a' not? it does a man's heart good. Look you |
| what hacks are on his helmet! look you yonder, do | 195 |
| you see? look you there: there's no jesting; |
| there's laying on, take't off who will, as they say: |
| there be hacks! |
| CRESSIDA | Be those with swords? |
| PANDARUS | Swords! any thing, he cares not; an the devil come | 200 |
| to him, it's all one: by God's lid, it does one's |
| heart good. Yonder comes Paris, yonder comes Paris. |
[PARIS passes] |
| Look ye yonder, niece; is't not a gallant man too, |
| is't not? Why, this is brave now. Who said he came |
| hurt home to-day? he's not hurt: why, this will do | 205 |
| Helen's heart good now, ha! Would I could see |
| Troilus now! You shall see Troilus anon. |
| [HELENUS passes] |
| CRESSIDA | Who's that? |
| PANDARUS | That's Helenus. I marvel where Troilus is. That's |
| Helenus. I think he went not forth to-day. That's Helenus. | 210 |
| CRESSIDA | Can Helenus fight, uncle? |
| PANDARUS | Helenus? no. Yes, he'll fight indifferent well. I |
| marvel where Troilus is. Hark! do you not hear the |
| people cry 'Troilus'? Helenus is a priest. |
| CRESSIDA | What sneaking fellow comes yonder? | 215 |
| [TROILUS passes] |
| PANDARUS | Where? yonder? that's Deiphobus. 'Tis Troilus! |
| there's a man, niece! Hem! Brave Troilus! the |
| prince of chivalry! |
| CRESSIDA | Peace, for shame, peace! |
| PANDARUS | Mark him; note him. O brave Troilus! Look well upon | 220 |
| him, niece: look you how his sword is bloodied, and |
| his helm more hacked than Hector's, and how he looks, |
| and how he goes! O admirable youth! he ne'er saw |
| three and twenty. Go thy way, Troilus, go thy way! |
| Had I a sister were a grace, or a daughter a goddess, | 225 |
| he should take his choice. O admirable man! Paris? |
| Paris is dirt to him; and, I warrant, Helen, to |
| change, would give an eye to boot. |
| CRESSIDA | Here come more. |
| [Forces pass] |
| PANDARUS | Asses, fools, dolts! chaff and bran, chaff and bran! | 230 |
| porridge after meat! I could live and die i' the |
| eyes of Troilus. Ne'er look, ne'er look: the eagles |
| are gone: crows and daws, crows and daws! I had |
| rather be such a man as Troilus than Agamemnon and |
| all Greece. | 235 |
| CRESSIDA | There is among the Greeks Achilles, a better man than Troilus. |
| PANDARUS | Achilles! a drayman, a porter, a very camel. |
| CRESSIDA | Well, well. |
| PANDARUS | 'Well, well!' why, have you any discretion? have |
| you any eyes? Do you know what a man is? Is not | 240 |
| birth, beauty, good shape, discourse, manhood, |
| learning, gentleness, virtue, youth, liberality, |
| and such like, the spice and salt that season a man? |
| CRESSIDA | Ay, a minced man: and then to be baked with no date |
| in the pie, for then the man's date's out. | 245 |
| PANDARUS | You are such a woman! one knows not at what ward you |
| lie. |
| CRESSIDA | Upon my back, to defend my belly; upon my wit, to |
| defend my wiles; upon my secrecy, to defend mine |
| honesty; my mask, to defend my beauty; and you, to | 250 |
| defend all these: and at all these wards I lie, at a |
| thousand watches. |
| PANDARUS | Say one of your watches. |
| CRESSIDA | Nay, I'll watch you for that; and that's one of the |
| chiefest of them too: if I cannot ward what I would | 255 |
| not have hit, I can watch you for telling how I took |
| the blow; unless it swell past hiding, and then it's |
| past watching. |
| PANDARUS | You are such another! |
| [Enter Troilus's Boy] |
| Boy | Sir, my lord would instantly speak with you. | 260 |
| PANDARUS | Where? |
| Boy | At your own house; there he unarms him. |
| PANDARUS | Good boy, tell him I come. |
[Exit boy] |
| I doubt he be hurt. Fare ye well, good niece. |
| CRESSIDA | Adieu, uncle. | 265 |
| PANDARUS | I'll be with you, niece, by and by. |
| CRESSIDA | To bring, uncle? |
| PANDARUS | Ay, a token from Troilus. |
| CRESSIDA | By the same token, you are a bawd. |
[Exit PANDARUS] |
| Words, vows, gifts, tears, and love's full sacrifice, | 270 |
| He offers in another's enterprise; |
| But more in Troilus thousand fold I see |
| Than in the glass of Pandar's praise may be; |
| Yet hold I off. Women are angels, wooing: |
| Things won are done; joy's soul lies in the doing. | 275 |
| That she beloved knows nought that knows not this: |
| Men prize the thing ungain'd more than it is: |
| That she was never yet that ever knew |
| Love got so sweet as when desire did sue. |
| Therefore this maxim out of love I teach: | 280 |
| Achievement is command; ungain'd, beseech: |
| Then though my heart's content firm love doth bear, |
| Nothing of that shall from mine eyes appear. |
| [Exeunt] |
Shakespeare's Troilus and Cressida: Scenes and Commentary