| ACT I SCENE II | The Mart. | |
| [
Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Syracuse, DROMIO of Syracuse,
and First Merchant
] |
| First Merchant | Therefore give out you are of Epidamnum, |
| Lest that your goods too soon be confiscate. |
| This very day a Syracusian merchant |
| Is apprehended for arrival here; |
| And not being able to buy out his life | 5 |
| According to the statute of the town, |
| Dies ere the weary sun set in the west. |
| There is your money that I had to keep. |
| ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE | Go bear it to the Centaur, where we host, |
| And stay there, Dromio, till I come to thee. | 10 |
| Within this hour it will be dinner-time: |
| Till that, I'll view the manners of the town, |
| Peruse the traders, gaze upon the buildings, |
| And then return and sleep within mine inn, |
| For with long travel I am stiff and weary. | 15 |
| Get thee away. |
| DROMIO OF SYRACUSE | Many a man would take you at your word, |
| And go indeed, having so good a mean. |
| [Exit] |
| ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE | A trusty villain, sir, that very oft, |
| When I am dull with care and melancholy, | 20 |
| Lightens my humour with his merry jests. |
| What, will you walk with me about the town, |
| And then go to my inn and dine with me? |
| First Merchant | I am invited, sir, to certain merchants, |
| Of whom I hope to make much benefit; | 25 |
| I crave your pardon. Soon at five o'clock, |
| Please you, I'll meet with you upon the mart |
| And afterward consort you till bed-time: |
| My present business calls me from you now. |
| ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE | Farewell till then: I will go lose myself | 30 |
| And wander up and down to view the city. |
| First Merchant | Sir, I commend you to your own content. |
| [Exit] |
| ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE | He that commends me to mine own content |
| Commends me to the thing I cannot get. |
| I to the world am like a drop of water | 35 |
| That in the ocean seeks another drop, |
| Who, falling there to find his fellow forth, |
| Unseen, inquisitive, confounds himself: |
| So I, to find a mother and a brother, |
| In quest of them, unhappy, lose myself. | 40 |
[Enter DROMIO of Ephesus] |
| Here comes the almanac of my true date. |
| What now? how chance thou art return'd so soon? |
| DROMIO OF EPHESUS | Return'd so soon! rather approach'd too late: |
| The capon burns, the pig falls from the spit, |
| The clock hath strucken twelve upon the bell; | 45 |
| My mistress made it one upon my cheek: |
| She is so hot because the meat is cold; |
| The meat is cold because you come not home; |
| You come not home because you have no stomach; |
| You have no stomach having broke your fast; | 50 |
| But we that know what 'tis to fast and pray |
| Are penitent for your default to-day. |
| ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE | Stop in your wind, sir: tell me this, I pray: |
| Where have you left the money that I gave you? |
| DROMIO OF EPHESUS | O,--sixpence, that I had o' Wednesday last | 55 |
| To pay the saddler for my mistress' crupper? |
| The saddler had it, sir; I kept it not. |
| ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE | I am not in a sportive humour now: |
| Tell me, and dally not, where is the money? |
| We being strangers here, how darest thou trust | 60 |
| So great a charge from thine own custody? |
| DROMIO OF EPHESUS | I pray you, air, as you sit at dinner: |
| I from my mistress come to you in post; |
| If I return, I shall be post indeed, |
| For she will score your fault upon my pate. | 65 |
| Methinks your maw, like mine, should be your clock, |
| And strike you home without a messenger. |
| ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE | Come, Dromio, come, these jests are out of season; |
| Reserve them till a merrier hour than this. |
| Where is the gold I gave in charge to thee? | 70 |
| DROMIO OF EPHESUS | To me, sir? why, you gave no gold to me. |
| ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE | Come on, sir knave, have done your foolishness, |
| And tell me how thou hast disposed thy charge. |
| DROMIO OF EPHESUS | My charge was but to fetch you from the mart |
| Home to your house, the Phoenix, sir, to dinner: | 75 |
| My mistress and her sister stays for you. |
| ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE | In what safe place you have bestow'd my money, |
| Or I shall break that merry sconce of yours |
| That stands on tricks when I am undisposed: |
| Where is the thousand marks thou hadst of me? | 80 |
| DROMIO OF EPHESUS | I have some marks of yours upon my pate, |
| Some of my mistress' marks upon my shoulders, |
| But not a thousand marks between you both. |
| If I should pay your worship those again, |
| Perchance you will not bear them patiently. | 85 |
| ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE | Thy mistress' marks? what mistress, slave, hast thou? |
| DROMIO OF EPHESUS | Your worship's wife, my mistress at the Phoenix; |
| She that doth fast till you come home to dinner, |
| And prays that you will hie you home to dinner. |
| ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE | What, wilt thou flout me thus unto my face, | 90 |
| Being forbid? There, take you that, sir knave. |
| DROMIO OF EPHESUS | What mean you, sir? for God's sake, hold your hands! |
| Nay, and you will not, sir, I'll take my heels. |
| [Exit] |
| ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE | Upon my life, by some device or other |
| The villain is o'er-raught of all my money. | 95 |
| They say this town is full of cozenage, |
| As, nimble jugglers that deceive the eye, |
| Dark-working sorcerers that change the mind, |
| Soul-killing witches that deform the body, |
| Disguised cheaters, prating mountebanks, | 100 |
| And many such-like liberties of sin: |
| If it prove so, I will be gone the sooner. |
| I'll to the Centaur, to go seek this slave: |
| I greatly fear my money is not safe. |
| [Exit] |